When All The Weird Things Happen, Fun
by Kyuu Mitsui
Summary: I'm telling you... This story is wild... You might hate me you know... But my friends forced me to upload it... Meaning I was done long before and I'm all uploading it now... Just read it!
1. Just The Beginning

Author's Notes:  
  
Hey there, everyone! Please forgive me for writing this fanfic. It's totally wild and unrealistic. Maybe I just need some time to relax my mind before I start a real nice story some day. . . I'm really psycho, you know. . . I had this finished long ago but I was having second thoughts of posting it because... You'll know... I would also like to say that every name that doesn't belong here stands for someone real. . . I would like to sincerely apologize for everything, like for an instance my short chapters. Lastly, whenever you see "you know", pronounce it like how girls would pronounce "Oh my gosh, like, yeah, he's like sooo, you know, like cute!!! "  
  
Chapter 1: Just The Beginning  
  
It was another early morning in the Kanagawa Region. It was a sight of students walking their way to their schools while others have made their arrival. It was a morning filled with peac--  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: What the hell?! Give me back my folder and go back to your own classroom, otooto san!  
  
Kyuu: Shucks, oni chan. Why are your grades so low?  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: As if yours aren't!  
  
Kyuu: Well, they aren't. Why can't you answer some of the simplest questions?  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Whatever. It doesn't really matter. Basketball is my priority.  
  
Kyuu: But if you don't pass, you will be prohibited to join the basketball team! Just please get higher in your tests today. For me. Okay?  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Yeah, yeah, okay. Now scram it!  
  
[Hisashi Mitsui pushes his younger brother out of his lap and his younger brother ran off.]  
  
As Kyuu reached the doorway, Rukawa passed by and they walked together back to their classroom. Hisashi Mitsui turned away and approached his friends who were fellow bullies. 


	2. The Cruel Bet

Chapter 2: The Cruel Bet  
  
It was finally break time. Hisashi Mitsui ran to his friends.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Darn it. I got a low score in our test a while ago.  
  
Hotta: I thought you didn't care about your academic performance?  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: I think I can get straight perfect scores if I would just take my studies seriously!  
  
Hotta: Yeah right, you can't even perfect a test!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: I can!! Wanna bet?!  
  
Hotta: Even if the bet includes showing your chest to a group of girls?!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Yes!!!  
  
Hotta: Then sign this contract.  
  
[Hisashi Mitsui signs the contract.] [Hisashi Mitsui's friends giggle.] [Hisashi Mitsui turns blue.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Screams] I'm taking that back!  
  
Hotta: No you can't. [Laughs]  
  
[Hisashi Mitsui's friends ran to different directions to spread the good news.]  
  
And before you know it, the whole Shohoku High knows it! Because of communication technologies nowadays, the next thing you knew, the whole Kanagawa Region knows it!  
  
Then something wild happened. 


	3. Chaotic Stampedes

Chapter 3: Chaotic Stampedes  
  
The gates of Kainan High, Shoyo High, and Ryonan High were unsuccessful in keeping the students in their schools.  
  
In Ryonan High.  
  
Nitni: Oni chan! Oni chan!  
  
Koshino: ??? What's going on? Why are the Ryonan students running outside? It's causing a chaotic stampede.  
  
Nitni: Everybody's rushing to the train station to witness the "you know" in Shohoku High.  
  
Koshino: Oh, that one. I want to witness it too.  
  
Nitni: By the way, have you seen my oni chan?  
  
Koshino: Akira Sendoh is right there! Let's go there!  
  
[Nitni and Koshino approaches Akira Sendoh.]  
  
Nitni: [To Sendoh] Oni chan! Let's go to Shohoku High to witness the "you know".  
  
Sendoh: Uhm. Okay.  
  
Koshino: Wait for me! I'll just call the others.  
  
And so, in the train.  
  
Uozumi: Are we complete?  
  
Koshino: Hai! I checked our attendance!  
  
Nitni: Did anyone bring a camcorder?  
  
Fukuda: I brought a camcorder.  
  
Uekusa: I brought a camera and some extra rolls of film.  
  
Ikegami: Did anyone bring snacks?  
  
Sendoh: I cooked buttered fish with lemon zest for all of us! I also brought a jug of lemonade..  
  
Everybody: [Except Nitni and Sendoh] Uh-oh.  
  
So much for Ryonan High, in Shoyo High.  
  
[Hanagata attempts to drag Fujima out of Shoyo High. The other Shoyo students are squeezing their way out too.]  
  
Fujima: Hanagata, I don't see why it is necessary for us to see the "you know" in Shohoku High.  
  
Hanagata: [In a manly voice] Because.  
  
[Hanagata suddenly rubs his face wildly into Fujima's chest.]  
  
Fujima: [SCREAMS REALLY LOUD IN A DRAMATIC AND AGONIZING WAY]  
  
And so, the Shoyo students have finally boarded their transportation to Shohoku High.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
[Hanagata harshly throws Fujima into their transportation to Shohoku High.]  
  
Fujima: [In an angry voice] Hey! That hurts! Hanagata, tell me the truth, are you gay?  
  
Hanagata: [In a manly voice] No.  
  
Fujima: [Still in an angry voice] Then explain to me the reason why you are doing this.  
  
Hanagata: [In a manly voice] What? I am just getting ourselves a ride to Shohoku High.  
  
[Hanagata suddenly rubs his face wildly into Fujima's chest.]  
  
Fujima: [SCREAMS REALLY LOUD IN A DRAMATIC AND AGONIZING WAY] Not again! No! No! Nooooooo.!  
  
While in Kainan High.  
  
Three faces were recognized amongst the wild stampede of Kainan students rushing out of the school grounds to seek transportation to Shohoku High.  
  
Kiyota: Jin, I don't really know why we have to follow Maki.  
  
Jin: .  
  
Kiyota: Speak up innocent guy!!  
  
Maki: [From quite a distance] Kiyota! Jin! Hurry up! I don't want to miss this [Drool, drool] "you know" event.  
  
[Kiyota and Jin turn blue wide-eyed with their mouths open wide.]  
  
Kiyota: Jin, tell me. Is it opposite day today or is Maki gay?  
  
Jin: . 


	4. Picking Up Anxiety

Chapter 4: Picking Up Anxiety  
  
So much for the other schools. In Shohoku High.  
  
[Hisashi Mitsui is standing still in shock in the hallway.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: I am so traumatized.  
  
[Rukawa passes by with Kyuu hiding behind him.]  
  
Rukawa: Konnichiwa Mitsui Kun. . WHO WILL BE NAKED!!!  
  
[Then Rukawa ran off quickly and out of sight.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [GASP] Otooto san!! How could you make Rukawa do such thing?! Damn!  
  
Akagi: [Hangs and plays monkey bars on the door the looks at Hisashi Mitsui] I may be a gorilla but. . . You're naked!!!  
  
[Then Akagi ran off quickly and out of sight.]  
  
Sakuragi: Oooh. Gori finally admitted it.  
  
[Ryota stands beside Sakuragi in front of Hisashi Mitsui.]  
  
Ryota: [Chibi] I may be curly haired but you're naked!!  
  
And before Hisashi Mitsui could react.  
  
Sakuragi: [Chibi] I may be red-haired but you're naked!!  
  
[Then Ryota and Sakuragi ran off quickly and out of sight.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [In a defensive way] Hah!! Who cares anyway?! I'm devilishly good-looking! Who said I was gonna fail anyway?!  
  
Hotta: Konnichiwa Micchan! We will be having a test in Physics later! You have to get perfect or else. "you know".  
  
[Hotta and the others ran off quickly and out of sight.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Well, I have to start studying.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui sat on his seat and started studying.  
  
Suddenly.  
  
[Kogure approaches Hisashi Mitsui while making laughing, snickering, piggy noises.]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Raises his eyebrow] Oro???  
  
Kogure: [Chibi] Mitsui Kun, I'll help you study for the Physics test. [Giggles]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Ummm. I'm not sure about this.  
  
[Kogure teaches Hisashi Mitsui anyway.]  
  
Everybody has finally made their arrival in Shohoku High to witness the "you know". Hisashi Mitsui felt tense as he looked at the wild crowd of excited students out the window. And was he shocked when he saw a big television screen (like the ones in the movies/cinemas) which was temporarily positioned in a façade in the school viewing his every movement to the crowd below.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Runs to his friends] What the hell?! I thought I was just going to show my "you know" to a group of girls! Look! Even the guys and gays would see it in the viewer!  
  
Hotta: It doesn't matter anymore, Micchan.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui angrily struck the window sill with his hand as Hotta and his other friends walked away.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Murmurs painfully] Ouch.  
  
Then again, Hisashi Mitsui looked out the window, down at the crowd. All of a sudden, he realized that he wasn't just going to show his chest to any group of girls but all the girls from Shohoku, Ryonan, Shoyo, and Kainan as a whole group.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [So shocked] I am so DOOMED. 


	5. The Tormenting Test

Chapter 5: The Tormenting Test  
  
"Nipples, be free."  
  
"The Treasured CHEST is the treasure itself."  
  
"Much ado about chests."  
  
"Not all the time hearts are golden. Sometimes, CHESTS are golden too."  
  
"Show your CHEST now and forever."  
  
"Not all CHESTS have chest hairs."  
  
"The road to hell is paved with chest hairs."  
  
Those were just some of the "quotes" imprinted in the banners down below.  
  
The Physics class has finally started. The teacher immediately gave the test. Hisashi Mitsui started answering his Physics test.  
  
Everybody: Oooooh!!!  
  
While down below amongst the crowd.  
  
Fujima: [Hugs himself, especially his chest, with a tight grip] [In a soft voice] Uh. Everybody is so mean. They came all the way here just to see the chest of Hisashi Mitsui.If I were the victim. [Think]  
  
Hanagata: I know! You'll cry!!!  
  
Fujima: [Narrows his eyes] No I will not.  
  
[Hanagata prepares to rub his face in Fujima's chest.]  
  
Fujima: NO!!! [Grabs a nearby girl to hug] You're not doing it again. It's already occupied.  
  
Kasumi: [Blushes] Umm. Hello Fujima Kun.  
  
Fujima: No, please. Just call me Ken.  
  
Meanwhile, Hisashi Mitsui answered his test filled with confidence. He looked as if the test was just easy. He was able to answer quickly; He just glided across the paper and then to the next page. Finally, he was finished.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [With a superior look] Hah! That was it?! It was chicken. Idiots! Coming all the way here. I bet the teacher would check the paper tomorrow! The results will be out tomorrow! You hear?!  
  
Teacher: Well, for the audience's sake, I'll check you paper now.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Nooo! NO! Nooooooo.!!!  
  
The teacher slowly checked Hisashi Mitsui's paper. Sometimes, he paused which generated tension for everyone. It was one correct answer after the other. 


	6. The You Know

Chapter 6: The "You Know"  
  
Until. a number was marked incorrect!!!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: WHAT THE HELL?! I. I-  
  
Then the crowd goes wild!!! Several other students grabbed Hisashi Mitsui dragging him to the crowd.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Wait!!! How can that happen?!  
  
Kogure: [Laughing] I taught you something wrong!!!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Kogure!!! How could you?!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui was dragged towards the throng of girls. He was positioned in the center of the crowd. He was facing all the girls and all the guys and gays were behind him. After 2 minutes..  
  
Maki: Hey!! Unbutton already!!!  
  
Hanagata: We've come a long way just to witness this!!  
  
Fujima: Please unbutton!!! I need Hanagata to quit liking my chest!  
  
And the rest of the crowd complains.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Thinking of a way to prolong this waste of time] Um. Girls! You might want to. get Fujima's autograph first.  
  
[All the girls run to Fujima with pens and mostly pink stationery.]  
  
Hanagata: NO!!! [Blocks Fujima and frightens all the girls] FUJIMA IS MINE!!!  
  
[All the girls babyishly cry.]  
  
Hanagata: Uh-oh. Just kidding. I didn't mean it.  
  
Fujima: That serves you right.  
  
Maki: HEY!!! UNBUTTON ALREADY!!!  
  
Crowd: UNBUTTON!!! UNBUTTON!!! UNBUTTON!!!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Moans] Fine.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui unbuttons the first button. And the crowd goes wild!!! Then he buttons it back.  
  
Crowd: [Complain] Awww.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui unbuttons the last button. And the crowd goes wild!!! Then he buttons it back.  
  
Crowd: [Complain] Hey!! Strip already!!! Argh!!! Unbutton already!!!  
  
Nothing but complaining voices were heard.  
  
Maki: UNBUTTON!!! UNBUTTON!!! UNBUTTON!!!  
  
Kiyota: I guess Maki is a weirdo after all. Right, Jin? Jin.?  
  
Jin: WHAT THE HELL!!! UNBUTTON ALREADY!!!  
  
Kiyota: [Gasp] . This can't be true. Tell me I'm dreaming.  
  
And so, back to the main attraction.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: FINE!!!  
  
Hisashi Mitsui quickly unbuttoned his school uniform and closed his eyes. He attempted to close his eyes through it. But he was wrong. The girls and gays attempted to pull down his pants too. The guys just watched. 


	7. Aftershocks

Chapter 7: Aftershocks  
  
That event was finally over. At least, Hisashi Mitsui was successful in keeping his pants up. During basketball practice.  
  
Kogure: Um. Mitsui Kun, I'm sorry. I didn't really teach you anything wrong.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui's angry mood faded away and he looked chibi shocked.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Th-then, wh-wha. wha--  
  
Kogure: You got perfect. Our teacher just gagged you. [Ahem] Let me restate. You got perfect. Our GAY teacher just gagged you.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui had regained his angry mood which became even angrier. Well, he started shouting evil words at the top of his voice. 


	8. Park Monster

Chapter 8: The Park Monster  
  
The awaited Saturday finally came. Hisashi Mitsui, Kyuu, Rukawa, Sendoh, Nitni, and Koshino hung out with each other. (And was it embarrassing that among Rukawa and Sendoh who were younger, Hisashi Mitsui was the shortest.) So, they had a picnic in a nearby park. All except Hisashi Mitsui were setting up the picnic. An innocent girl suddenly passed by.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Hey you! Come over here!  
  
Mitsumi: ??? Me??? [Comes towards Hisashi Mitsui]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Slightly lifts his shirt] Aren't my abs cute?  
  
Mitsumi blushed, screamed, and ran off.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: ??? [Then spots another girl] You over there, I'll show you something.  
  
Kasumi: ??? [But approaches anyway]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Look at my abs, they're so pretty. [Lifts his shirt a bit]  
  
Kasumi screamed and ran off blushing.  
  
Nitni: [Calls Sendoh's attention by poking him in the back] Look at that weirdo, oni chan.  
  
Sendoh: [Sees Hisashi Mitsui showing his abs around] No!! No!! [Shields himself from Hisashi Mitsui's shadow] I am decent!!! I-- I. [Continues to be delirious] I shouldn't see evil!!!  
  
And while Sendoh spoke against evil, on the other side of the park.  
  
Mitsumi: [Looked so freaked out] Park. Monster. Devilishly cute. Stitch.  
  
Ayako: It must have been terrible!!!  
  
Kasumi: Indeed, it was. He may probably be recognized if you spot a stitch near his chin. I am warning all the girls in our community.  
  
Haruko: I'm scared.  
  
Sakuragi: Don't worry Haruko san! I'm here!!!  
  
Ryota: Let's hunt the park monster!!! [Then whispers to himself] For Ayachan.  
  
Akagi: .  
  
Back on the other side.  
  
Kamirou: [Sees Hisashi Mitsui] [Murmurs] Something's telling me that he's the park monster.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Sees Kamirou] Hello! Do you want to see a little surprise.?  
  
Kamirou: Uh-oh.  
  
Okay, you know what happened. A loud scream was heard throughout the park.  
  
Ryota: Let's go!!! Let's hunt him down!  
  
Kasumi: I hear the scream coming from that direction.  
  
And they make their way there. And while they run their way.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Sees a girl in a cloak] ??? Well, anyway. Hey there! Come here and I will show you something.  
  
[The girl silently approaches]  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: [Freak out] . Uh. What's your name?  
  
Girl: .  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Excuse me..? [Gets a little curious] [Pulls the cloak] [GASP]  
  
Hanagata: Hehehehehehehehe.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Uh-oh. You're not a girl. H. H-he. HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!  
  
And so the park monster hunter comes.  
  
Ryota: Nani?????  
  
Akagi: Serves him right.  
  
Hisashi Mitsui: Help me!!! Help me!!! Help me!!!  
  
Everybody: [Laughs at Hisashi Mitsui] Hahahahaha!!! You deserve it!!!  
  
Fujima: [Comes to the scene] He's finally over with me.  
  
Akagi: [Grin]  
  
WAIT A MINUTE!!!!  
  
Sendoh: And please finally come to the conclusion that I am not gay. Thank You. 


End file.
